


New Girl//Haikyuu crossover

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU, Crossover, M/M, implied trans hinata shouyou
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 09:01:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8618044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "So, you know in horror movies when the girl is like, 'Oh my god! there's something in the basement! let me just run down there in my underwear and see what’s going on in the dark!' and you're like 'what is your problem, call the police.' and she’’s like 'okay!' but it’s too late because she’’s already getting murdered? Well, uhh, my story is kinda like that."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just to shed a bit of light, I literally just copied the script of the first episode of New girl and translated it into a format that could be considered, you know, readable. Once again, take this as seriously as you want. also like, i dont want to finish it so. but if you want it finished or a new chapter leave an ask on my tumblr (genericgayanime) or just drop a comment here

"He said he had this fantasy where I'm a stripper with a heart of gold, and he’s helping me get through college." Hinata whispered into his phone. He was in just a trenchcoat in the back of a cab, on his way to his boyfriend’s apartment.

 

"He didn't say the college part did he?" Kenma asked in a dead tone. He had his phone tucked between his shoulder and ear as he sifted through his closet to find something other than leggings to wear. 

 

"Um, no," Hinata stammered. "But I wanted to create a three dimensional sex character." He flashed a smile at the cab driver who was giving him a strange look through the rearview mirror, as if he wasn't just in his cab to get to his boyfriend's apartment for surprise sex.

 

"What's your stripper name?" Kenma teased, holding up outfits to himself in a full body mirror.

 

"Uh, Beck Johnson?" Hinata stammered, saying the first thing that came to mind.

 

"Your stripper name is 'Beck Johnson?'" 

 

"Ballsack Johnson," Hinata tried. "Two testes Johnson." He said desperately, trying to ignore the stares from the taxi driver.

 

"Look at you!" Kenma mused, trying to be encouraging despite Hinata’s cluelessness. "In the back of a cab, totally naked. I'm so proud of you." 

 

Hinata smiled at Kenmas encouragement, saying his goodbyes as he paid the driver and made his way out of the cab. The sound of wheels on concrete, then on hardwood rang through Hinata’s ears as he pulled his bag behind him, into the building then into his boyfriend’s apartment.

 

"Hello," He called out in a suggestive voice, walking further into the seemingly empty apartment. "I came home early!"

 

"Hinata!" Noya called out in an anxious tone, standing in the hallway in nothing but his boxers.

 

"Who's Hinata?" He whispered, brushing his hair out of his face. "You're talking to," Hinata dropped his coat. "Beck Johnson."

 

Hinata turned around, giving Noya a full view of his ass before turning around and seeing someone behind him, also clad in just boxers.

 

"So uh, that happened." Hinata grumbled, biting on his lips and looking towards the ground. "That's why I need a new apartment." He explained to the audience of three in front of him.

 

"Wait," He began again. "What was the question?" He asked, tilting his head and pushing his glasses up.

 

"Do you have any pets?" Said the angular man with dark blue eyes and a bored expression.

 

"You know what's funny," The ginger started back up again, his colourful clothing contrasting greatly with his hair.

 

"When I saw your ad on Craigslist i thought you were women."

 

The douchiest of the three men in front of him started laughing. "That's funny." He stated lightly. "Why would you think that. That's crazy." He began to get defensive.

 

"Kuroo wrote the ad." The man next to him smirked, patting the thigh of the one who spoke last. Kuroo pushed his hand back into his lap, giving Hinata his full attention. 

 

"I guess it was something about the words you used it was like uh, it was like 'sun soaked' and 'beige-y'" Hinata explained, his focus on his hands, which were gesturing in a composed manner.

 

The two men sitting next to him started laughing, mocking their roommate. Hinata laughed along, desperate to fit in and get this home. 

 

"What are you doing?!" The black haired man sitting next to the douche asked, leaning slightly away.

 

Hinata looked wide-eyed at the now shirtless man in front of him, unsure of what to do. He looked around at the other two men in front of him, hoping they would provide some explanation

 

"What about these?" The douche said, gesturing to his chest. "Do these look beige-y to you?" 

 

"I'm sorry," The black haired man said desperately.

 

"I'm his trainer so, this is kind of the house that Tanaka built right here." The man next to him with the buzz cut stated, patting Kuroos bare stomach. 

 

"What are we looking at here that's baby smooth!" The black haired man mocked, also feeling up Kuroos bare stomach.

 

"This is CLO, Cuties love Kuroo."

 

"What?" Tanaka exclaimed."What did you just say? Go put a dollar in the jar right now." Tanaka continued, gesturing to a mason jar clearly labeled 'Douchebag jar'.

 

"Are you serious?!" Kuroo complained, getting up and bringing his since discarded shirt with him.

 

"Yeah, right now." Tanaka ordered.

Kuroo got up and walked towards the jar and dug in his back pocket for a bill, shoving it in the jar.

 

"This place is beautiful!" Hinata explained, trying to direct the attention back to the main reason he was in a stranger's home."So much light." He stood up and put his hands on his hips, looking around. "Noya hated light." His eyes drifted towards the ground. "It's hard to say his name."

 

"It's okay, Kageyama knows, he got dumped." Kuroo giggled, gesturing towards the same man who apologised upon his behalf.

 

"Yeah, I got 'dumped'" Kageyama scoffed, rolling his eyes.  
-  
"I can't hear you!! That means we arent breaking up!!" Kageyama yelled, his hands over his ears as his girlfriend of three years tried to break up with him.

 

"We are breaking up!" Shimizu yelled desperately.

 

"No we aren't, I can't hear you!" Kageyama yelled over her.

 

"I'm breaking up with you!" She yelled back.

 

"No! Lalalala!" Kageyama screamed over everything she tried to say with his fingers in his ears.  
-

 

"Yeah, I got dumped." Kageyama said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "She dumped me." He explained, opening his arms wide. "And I'm over it, okay?” He shrugged, his tone getting more and more defensive. “It was six months ago guys, get past it!" He said passive aggressively. "I don't even know why we are still talking about it.”

 

“Why is everyone looking at me?!" He finished, rubbing his forehead. 

 

"You know what," Hinata began. "I wanna live here!"

 

"I still have some questions." Kageyama stated. "Like no offense, but we barely know you."

 

"Yeah okay, yeah." Hinata mumbled. "So uh, full disclosure, I'm kind of emotional right now ‘cause of the break up, so I'll probably be watching dirty dancing at least six or seven times," He explained, running an apple through his hands. "A day.” he coughed.

 

“Um, I'm a teacher, so I bring home a lot of popsicle sticks, stuff like that. Also, I like to sing to myself," He let out a breathy laugh. "A lot." He stared at his hands, avoiding the group. He gave the group a nervous look. "A lot." he sang quietly, clearing his throat. 

 

"I'm tired of living with my friend." Hinata shrugged. "Hes a cam bo-" He coughed quickly, "Model." He cut himself off. "All his friends are cam b-” He coughed again “Models." He corrected.

 

"Uh, how soon can you move in?" Kuroo said enthusiastically.

 

"Actually uh," Kageyama cut Kuroo off, still skeptical about the entire situation. 

 

"Not happening." Tanaka said.

 

"Can you give us a second?" Kuroo asked Hinata. "Got to go talk to my boys." 

 

"'My boys' is not a thing." Kageyama defended, getting up to follow Kuroo.

 

"Ok, my 'bros'." Kuroo corrected.

 

"Okay, douchebag jar." Kageyama called from down the hall.

 

"For what?" Kuroo asked defensively, already reaching into his back pocket.

 

"For 'my bros'”

 

The trio made their way down the hall into their shared bathroom, closing the door behind them to discuss the situation of their new roommate.

 

"I say we say yes! His friends are models. Okay you guys? Models." Kuroo exclaimed excitedly.

 

"I say we say no. I need to be able to come home from work, sit on my couch, and let my beans out! Let 'em breathe!" Tanaka argued while Kageyama nodded in agreement.

 

"Kageyama, it's all you buddy." 

 

"Well first let me say that both of you make some really interesting points." Tanaka and Kuroo sighed. "Points that I respect. And I will say that I have lived with a woman, Shimizu, as you guys know, so I know that there are pros and sometimes there are real cons."

 

"Kageyama you’re weak!" Tanaka yelled. “Also he’s not female.”

 

"Yeah, but he's a fucking twink. Close enough right?” Kageyama argued. “Pros, they smell nice. Cons, every once in awhile the mood changes and you aren't sure why. They'll ruin your life if you let them they'll break down your will to live. Pros, they're really good at folding."

 

"Make a decision!" Tanaka yelled.

 

"But like, another pro," Kageyama began as he reached behind him to pick up his hood. 

 

"Oh Kageyama don't do it." Kuroo begged, watching in horror as his roommate brought up his hood over his face. "Don't put it down don't hood me, please don't hood me."

 

Kageyama continued to bring his hood over his face, crossing his arms in front of him.

 

"We pushed him too hard." Tanaka whispered, looking into Kageyama’s hood covered face.

 

"We did push him too hard." Kuroo agreed. "Executive decision, he's in."

 

"Yay I'm in!" They heard through the door. 

 

Kuroo went to go open the door to let their newfound roommate in.

 

"You are not going to regret this." Hinata smiled at the three taller boys in front of him.

 

Less than a day later, they heard loud sobbing came from the living room as Dirty Dancing' played on the TV. Hinata was sitting on the floor in his pyjamas, his hair a greasy mess and the area around him littered with tissues. His three roommates watched in horror as what once was a ball of sun fell victim to a never ending eclipse.

 

"What have you done, Kuroo." Kageyama said through clenched teeth, unable to take his eyes off the sobbing ginger. Tanaka just glared at him while Kuroo just shrugged in defense. 

 

The morning after, Hinata was on the phone with his mom.

 

"No mom, I'm not watching Dirty Dancing." He sniffed lightly, eyes glued to the screen in front of him, clearly showing a scene from said movie. "Hm, no. I don't think so." He turned around towards Kageyama in the kitchen. 

 

"Hey are you going to murder me because you’re a stranger I met on the internet?" Hinata asked innocently, peeking out from his bundle of blankets.

 

"Yes I am." Kageyama responded, not making eye contact.

 

"He says no." Hinata said into the phone, curling up into his pile of blankets yet again.

 

"No look I gotta go," Hinata explained just as Tanaka and Kuroo ran through the door."Alright, love you, bye!" he chirped, hanging up the call. 

 

"Okay, wild west party this weekend. I may be able to get us in but you may have to call Shimizu," Kuroo began, talking to Kageyama.

 

"I am not calling her!" Kageyama argued, the pair bickered until they heard a tear filled voice coming from the living room.

 

"I had, the time of my life," Hinata sang along with the movie playing on screen.

 

"We are in a situation because of you." Kageyama hissed at Kuroo, gesturing violently to Hinata, who was violently assaulting a pillow and cursing Noya's name. "It has been a week of this madness. I'm going crazy Kuroo, I can't take it." Kageyama hissed again.

 

"You know what? I got this." Tanaka said smoothly, getting up and heading over to Hinata. 

 

"Hi Tanaka." Hinata whimpered pathetically as he came into his (teary) line of vision. Tanaka sat down next to Hinata, looking open and ready to help.

 

"Stop it." Tanaka said sternly, pointing to Hinata."Stop."

 

At that Hinata started to whimper, then full on cry. He buried his face into his blankets, clutching it in his fists.

 

"Kuroo!" Tanaka called, his voice teetering on panic. 

 

"Got it" Kuroo called back, making his way to the living room. "I got us into this, I'm gonna get us out." He reassured his two roommates.

 

Kuroo took the remote from under Hinata and shut off the TV, sitting down next to his feet. 

 

"Hey Hinata, how you doin'?" He asked while Hinata just pointed at the TV. "You look fantastic." 

 

Hinata stared at him wide eyed and scared, like a guinea pig meeting its five year old owner for the first time. 

 

"Listen, what if you came out with us tonight? You know we'll fix you up, We'll take you out, We'll get you a rebound." Kuroo suggested.

 

"A rebound?" Hinata said curiously, perking up. 

 

"Yeah." He said softly, trying not to scare Hinata any more.

 

"I'm not sure if I'm ready.." Hinata whispered, his mind floating back to Noya.

 

"You’re totally ready! I'll take you through the whole thing!" Kuroo offered. "I'll be like your guide."

 

"Like Gandalf through Middle Earth?" Hinata asked.

 

"Probably no-” Kuroo began before he cut himself off. “First of all, let’s just take the Lord of the Rings references and let’s put them in a deep dark cave, where no one is going to find them, ever." 

 

"Except Gollum." Hinata countered. "He lives in a cave." He whispered.

 

"You know what Hinata,” Exasperation was heavy in Kuroo’s voice. “Let's just take the head off the couch."

 

Hinata carefully sat up,bringing his head off the pillow, his matted hair forming the shape of the arm of the couch from laying on it for too long.

 

"Look at that! Doesn't that feel good!" Kuroo encouraged. Hinata smiled and sniffed.

 

"I think that sounds nice." He sniffed again. "He's going out to find a rebound." Hinata sang softly. "Who's that boy? It's Hinata!" He chirped. 

 

"Did you just make up a theme song for yourself?" Kageyama asked, sipping his coffee.

 

"Look I'm gonna fix it." Kuroo said to Kageyama, turning around to address him properly.

 

Later that day, Kuroo and Kageyama began storming through the house arguing. 

 

'I'm not calling my ex just so you can get into a party!" Kageyama said, clearly annoyed. He walked through the hallway, a towel slung over his shoulder, Kuroo not far behind, dressed in a full suit. 

 

"This party is everything to me, please Kageyama!" Kuroo begged. "We go every year! You have no idea what I'm going through at work!" 

 

"Kuroo I'm not calling her!" Kageyama yelled, Kuroos guilt trip not working. He continued to storm down the hallway, walking into the bathroom.

 

"Listen, Knowing every year that I will be going to the Wild, Wild West charity auction for poverty reminds me that I'm still a man. And I can still motorboat a hot girl, or guy for that matter, who is also a member of the Cherokee nation. Which is not racist because it is for a good cause." Not a single ounce of shame lingered in Kuroos voice.

 

"Someone’s in here?" Hinata called from the shower, embarrassed that everyone decided to join him in the bathroom

 

"We are leaving in 10, did you shave your legs?" Kuroo asked, not expecting a serious reply. 

 

"I will now." Hinata replied after a moments hesitation. 

 

"Front and back?"

 

"Yes" Hinata called timidly from the shower.

 

"Thank you!" Kuroo smiled, turning back to Kageyama. 

 

"Look I'm gonna kill myself now." Kageyama gestured to the shower, nervously running his hands through his hair.

 

"Just call Shimizu. You call her all the time when you're drunk." Kuroo continued to badger.

 

"I do not know to what you are referring!" Kageyama argued. Vague memories flooded his mind of him with a bottle in one hand and his phone in the other, screaming in a terrible Australian accent about how much he misses her until he starts sobbing into the phone. 

 

"I'm not calling her." Kageyama said sternly.

 

Hinata bursts out of the shower with a towel around himself. "Kuroo, I know you really want to go to this party, but wouldn't it be better to find a girl, or guy, you really care about to motorboat?" Hinata asked, getting closer to him. "Then maybe if you were super lucky, you will find someone who will motorboat you right back." 

 

"I don't think she knows what motorboating is." Kageyama snickered, watching the interaction from the sink.

 

Hinata looked wide eyed, searching his brain for what it could possibly mean.

 

Later that evening he was sitting on his bed, running a mini blow drier through his hair, searching through his things for something to wear. He heard feet padding down the hall and stopping at his doorframe.

 

"Hi Tanaka." He greeted quietly. Tanaka burst in with a volleyball in his hand, setting it down violently on the desk, which caused one of Hinata’s many things to break. Hinata stared wide eyed at the wreckage, each broken piece of ceramic being memorized. Tanaka picked the ball up awkwardly, whispering something to himself while Hinata frowned at the broken ceramic.

 

"Alright uh, my boss says I don't know how to talk to women." He began. "Which is ridiculous." A small scoff followed as he pushed memories of him screaming at his clients into the back of his brain. "So I was wondering if you could, uh, help me out."

 

"Tanaka I'm not a girl."

 

"Yeah but you're the closest we are going to get."

 

"What about Kuroo!" Hinata asked defensively.

 

"You beat him in that game, honey." Tanaka said with a comforting tone.

 

Hinata frowned and turned his blow drier off, sweeping his now dry hair away from his face. He sighed and agreed, sitting down on his bed.

 

"So uh, first of all, maybe think about what women like to talk about? You know,like, use me for practice," He frowned again, "I guess"

 

"Uh, Shopping?" Tanaka offered. "Is that fun for you guys?"

 

"Yeah! Shopping's fun, Uh, the other day I bought a pair of jeggings, they look like jeans, but they're really leggings." Hinata explained, making full eye contact.

 

"I, uh, umm." Tanaka began. "You, uh," he stammered, struggling to find words to say. "WHO CARES?!" he screamed. He immediately apologized, tossing the ball to himself.

 

"Uh, Good job." Hinata congratulated. "Couple things to work on, one, lowering your voice!" He gestured wildly with his hands. "Two, listening. Three, rage. Uh, four?"

 

Tanaka grumbled, walking out of the room.

 

\---  
"Two beers, and a glass of pink wine." Kageyama passed the drinks around, before moving onto the next table he had to deal with. 

 

"Pink wine makes me slutty." Hinata exclaimed, sipping at the wine. He looked around the dingy bar, searching for a suitable rebound. The place was dimly lit, with all the furniture covered in red pleather.

 

"Oh! Cute guy alert!" Hinata whisper-yelled, making small siren noises. 

 

"Ok Hinata, game time. Let's do this. You want to forget about Noya? You're gonna have to do some very very bad things, to that man, right over there." Kuroo pointed to the man Hinata was staring at. 

 

"How bad?" Hinata asked Kuroo, continuing to stare at the man in front of him.

 

"Real bad, Hinata. Real bad."

 

"Like, Makeout sesh no tops?" Hinata asked, turning around to face Kuroo.

 

Kuroo pursed his lips, looking Hinata up and down. "Okay listen, this is what's going to happen. You're gonna go over there, you're gonna stand next to him, and you're gonna smile."

 

Hinata smiled at that, his white teeth blending with his pale skin. That nice smile was gone in a second, though, as he put on a clearly forced one and flashed it at Kuroo, searching for approval.

 

"Well, you're not gonna smile like that. You look like a hungry badger." Kuroo cringed.

 

"Stop that." Tanaka ordered.

 

"Okay, I got this, I got this." Hinata cheered himself on as he made his way to the edge of the booth they were sitting at. The two boys cheered and shouted praise as Hinata got up and made his way to the man he was eyeing earlier. Hinata awkwardly stood next to him for a second before greeting him.

 

"Hey sailor!" The man gave him a weird look before returning back to his previous conversation. Kuroo and Tanaka cheered him on, urging him to make a comeback, or to just move on. Kuroo left Hinata to fend for himself as he made his way to the bar where Kageyama was working.

 

“Kageyama, please." Kuroo begged, sitting at the bar in front of him. "Please get me into that party, I'm begging you, please."

 

"No I'm not calling Shimizu!” Kageyama yelled, growing more and more irritated.

 

"Do you know what a cute cowboy I am?!" Argued Kuroo. "Do you have any idea?" He called out to Kageyama, who since left to go tend another area of the bar. Kuroo then left to go hit on anyone he could find, and Tanaka was likely with him. Hinata came to the bar and sat down, grabbing Kageyama’s attention. He brought his ginger roommate a salad and set it down in front of him.

 

"Well." Hinata sighed, picking at his salad. "I guess I can't hide my crazy."

 

"I don't think you're trying that hard." Kageyama pointed out while drying glasses. 

 

"Well I've never been great at this stuff, so." Hinata countered. "Look at us, just a couple of losers. We both got dumped. Jeez."

 

"I'm fine. It was six months ago so," Kageyama muttered, setting down a wine glass before picking up another.

 

"Do you know why she dumped you? I mean, she must have hurt you pretty bad." Hinata asked, biting into a piece of lettuce.

 

"No, It makes no difference to me, I just wanted to set her trash cans on fire."

 

"So you were always just, like, wondering, like, 'what was it? Was there something I could have done differently'" Kageyama shook his head. "You know what happens to people who keep it all inside? They get old, and they get said, and they get weird, and then you're the old man, and you're yelling at the kids who are running across your yard and you're telling them, "Don't run across my yard. My life's filled with regret" You know, you can't just pretend like it didn't happen."

 

"Or I could pretend to be more like you, Hinata, and live on a sparkly rainbow and drive a unicorn around, and just sing all the time." Mocked Kageyama, speaking in a sing-song voice.

 

"Yeah, I think you should sing all the time!" Hinata encouraged.

 

"No, I was being mean. I'm not gonna do that!" Kageyama yelled.

 

"Why not?! It's fun." Whined a slightly tipsy Hinata

 

"Because I have a penis." He said blatantly. 

 

"My name is Kageyama, I have a penis. And I'm not gonna let any feelings out." Hinata mocked, singing off key.

 

"Hey." Said a man who came up to Hinata, looking him up and down. "I'm Maki. What are you drinking?"

 

"Oh I'll have another pink wine." Hinata made eye contact with Kageyama who winked at him subtly. 

 

"I like your hair." Maki said to Hinata, looking him up and down again, pausing at his lips. 

 

"Thanks, I grew it myself."

 

Later that evening Hinata was flirting it up with Maki, sitting in a booth and leaning against each other and laughing.

 

"He's doing alright, hm?" Tanaka nodded towards Hinata.

 

"Hey, Kuro, I was thinking it's probably better that you don't come to the party. Means more breasts for me." Tsukishima laughed as he walked up to Kuroo, who was sitting at the bar with Tanaka, watching Hinata.

 

"Better step down son.” Kuroo threatened. “You're taking this whole thing too far. I'm ser- Hold me back, Tanaka I'm serious, Hold me back. Hold me back! Tanaka, would you please hold me back?"

 

"No." Tanaka refused, wishing they had a douchebag jar to go.

 

"Kuroo, we're going to the party, relax." Kageyama said, walking towards their area of the bar. 

 

"Nice, see you there." Tsukishima said, nodding at Kuroo before walking away.

 

"Ah, totally bro!" Kuroo called after him before turning back around and flashing Kageyama a shit eating grin.

 

"Yeah, I texted Shimizu." 

 

"You texted Shimizu?" Tanaka echoed, staring in disbelief.

 

"It's no big deal. It's behind me." Kageyama shrugged, leaning against the bar. .

 

"Thank you, I love you, bro." Kuroo crawled over the bar and hugged Kageyama. "Yeah, there it is."

 

"Did you just kiss my arm a little?" Kageyama asked, gesturing to his shoulder.

 

"You bet I did. It felt right."

 

"So, I'll see you tomorrow, Sailor." Said a voice from behind them. 

 

"Yeah, cool. Call... Cool." Hinata said back quietly.

 

"What's happening tomorrow, sailor?" Kageyama asked over the bar, smiling at the tipsy ginger in front of him.

 

"You know what? You guys were totally right.I talked in short sentences, I didn't sing,I laughed, I smiled, I said I needed rebound sex, and it totally worked. He asked me out." Hinata babbled, his hands going wild. "Dinner! With food." He added.

 

"You got it, man" Tanaka cheered

 

"I'm so proud of you." Kuroo praised, pulling Hinata in for a hug, "You did good."

 

"Yeah, you put it diz-out!" Tanaka gave Hinata a high five.

 

"A date!" Hinata sang "It's Sho', he's on fire!"

 

The entire group groaned as he started dancing, making a fool of himself in the mostly empty bar. 

 

The three men sat around the couch back home, staring in wonder at the model sitting in front of them. Kenma shifted uncomfortably from all the staring. 

 

"Do the shoes fit, Sho?" Kenma called, turning toward the hall where Hinata's room was. His legs were crossed tightly, his two-toned hair draping over his face.

 

"What are you, a model or something?" Tanaka asked, looking Kenma up and down.

 

“Yeah.” Kenma said, running his hands through his bleached hair. “Mostly online right now, so.”

 

“What is it, Kenma?” Kuroo asked, before making up multiple nicknames. “You know, tell me your hopes and dreams. Are you a little warm? I’m a little warm right now.” Kuroo lifted up his arms and took off his shirt, despite the protests of Kageyama.

 

“Please put your shirt back on.” Kenma deadpanned. “Please don’t make me laugh at you.”

 

“Can I hit you up with some tea? A little herb tea. Ugh. Oh my God. How good is that? For real? What? Little p-mint tea?” Kageyama flashed him a disgusted look. “Yum, right? Hot, sweet. Little tea bag action. And, I wasn’t-” He laughs cooly. “I wasn’t talking about-”

 

“Douche bag.” Kageyama said as he passed the douchebag jar over to him. Kuroo put a dollar in the jar.

 

“Listen to me you guys.” Kenma cut them off. “Sho is by far the best person that I know, so if you guys let anything happen to him, I’m gonna come here, and crazy murder you.” Kenma smiled, his eyes crinkling shut and his head tilting.

 

“I’m gonna be honest with you. I did not hear a word that you just said, ‘cause your thighs are just killing me.” Kuroo spoke, staring at Kenma in his high waisted sailor shorts.

 

“There you go.” Kageyama said, handing the douchebag jar back over to his roommate.

 

“Sho?” Kenma got up from the couch and made his way to where Hinata was, trying to find any excuse to leave that room. As soon as Kenma left, Kageyama turned to Kuroo.

 

“Why are you talking like this!” Kageyama scolded while Kuroo sat lovestruck on the couch, lusting after Kenma. Kenma walked down the hall to Hinata’s room, finding him sprawled out on the floor, a pair of slightly heeled boots on his feet. 

 

“I fell off my heels” Hinata complained, looking up at Kenma. “How the fuck do you walk in these?”

 

“I use them mostly for camming, not a lot of walking there.”

 

“Kenma I swear if these have even a drop of your cu-”

 

“Don’t worry about that!” Kenma cut him off, his face flushing red. “Now, come on.” he squatted down and grabbed Hinata’s hands, pulling him up. “Get up.”

 

“Who am I kidding!” Hinata began, shaking his head. “I can’t go on a date! What if it’s horrible what if I have nothing to talk about?” Hinata asked, staring at his feet.

 

“Then you go to the bathroom, and you call me, and you tell me all about it.” Kenma offered, brushing Hinata’s hair behind his ears. 

 

“Maybe I just shouldn’t go.” Hinata murmured, staring at his feet.

 

“Babe, you got hurt.” Kenma spoke in a soft tone, putting Hinata’s nerves to rest. “That doesn’t mean you stop trying.” he whispered to Hinata. “Okay?”  
Hinata nodded and allowed himself to be pulled up by Kenma, who immediately looked him up and down.

 

“Please take off those overalls.” He begged, searching Hinata’s floor for anything else.

 

“I was going for, like, a sexy farmer look,” Hinata stammered.

 

“Take them off.”

 

The other three roommates were sitting around the living room, doing whatever on their laptops when Kenma came out wearing Hinata’s overalls. Hinata followed him, looking shy in a pair of heeled boots, high waisted shorts and a sweater, all of which were Kenmas.

 

“Wow.” Tanaka commented, looking up from his computer. Hinata smiled and shrugged.

 

“Thanks Tanaka.” He said with a watery voice. “I’m gonna text him and tell him I’m on my way.” Hinata went to pull out his phone before he heard Kageyama’s voice.

 

“Have you been texting him?” Kageyama looked up from his laptop, making eye contact with Hinata.

 

“Is that bad?” Hinata asked, going to put his phone back.

 

“No,” Kageyama paused to do something on his laptop. “It’s nice. Have a good night.”

 

“This is gonna be great!” Hinata exclaimed, addressing Kenma more than anyone. 

 

Once Hinata left to go meet his date, the rest of the roommates began getting ready for their party. They all dressed up, but on the walk down to the club, it was obvious who tried the hardest. Kageyama wasn’t dressed up at all, aside from a red bandana around his neck. Tanaka was wearing denim shorts that looked two sizes too small, a pink tank top and a headband with a craft store feather taped to the back of it. Kuroo on the other hand was dressed in full cowboy gear, hat and everything.

 

“Tanaka, you look nothing like a native american!” Kuroo whined.

 

“Listen, I have your back, you have to have mine.” Tanaka continued to walk with the group while lecturing Kuroo.

 

“I have your back, Tanaka.” Kageyama offered, adjusting his bandana.

 

“No, Kags, I want to hear it from him!”


End file.
